Any time I’m aggravated by how hard life is, it’s because I’m feeling entitled to an easier route. “Other people don’t have it as hard as I do.” “Something must be wrong - this is so hard.” “Why can’t things just be easier?”
When you distract yourself with Netflix to avoid feeling bad, you're applying a bandaid to a deeper wound. When you reach for the pint of ice cream just to escape for a moment...band aid. When you scroll endlessly because can't pull yourself out of your funk...yup, that's a band aid too.
We don't define ourselves by our happiest of emotions, so why do we put ourselves in a box with our heavy emotions?
Is there anything worse than fighting reality? "This shouldn't have happened, They shouldn't be doing this, He knows better, They're making this harder on me."
Our brains are wired for connection, for relationship. Yes, relationships offer so much pain for us. So very much pain. But don't be fooled: your healing will also come in the context of relationship.
Our life is lived in the everyday moments; not the big dramatic highs and lows. If we’re not celebrating everyday events, we’ll constantly be searching for the next big thing to look forward to. And our lives will literally pass us by.
I keep reading well-intentioned articles stating how someone’s childhood trauma (or any other traumatic events...PTSD anyone? ) permanently and irreparably damages someone for life. And while that can be the case, and has been for many people, it doesn't have to be.
With a hand on my chest, I slow my breaths. If I let my mind run wild, my day seems to get out of hand - rushing, doing this, doing that. It’s not very nice to treat myself like a machine.
When I think, “They’re always doing it wrong. If they did it my way, it would be so much faster/better.” Thinking this makes it impossible for me to truly appreciate the person in front of me.
In my experience as a coach and as a client, we don’t generally know our real problem; we just think we do. And we spend so much energy solving for the wrong thing. This is exhausting.