When We Fight With Reality, We Lose
Is there anything worse than fighting reality?
Recently my kids were so wound up, having spent the previous hour whining and fighting with each other, stealing toys, using toys as weapons…
Meanwhile, I was trying to get dinner fixed.
I had mostly been cool as a cucumber – accepting that they were being kids, and that not every day would be filled with endless hugs and sharing.
Finally, Teddy reached for the cup of corn on the counter and shook it all over the floor. In an instant I thought:
“This shouldn’t have happened.”
“They shouldn’t be doing this.
“He knows better.”
“They’re making this harder on me.”
“Another mess for me to clean up!”
“There are entirely too many distractions here!”
I felt the familiar rush of energy as I thought those frustration-producing thoughts.
“OUT! Get out of the kitchen, now!” I ordered, and they whined as they headed to the living room.
I took a deep breath in and allowed all the frustration to be there. I continued my food-prep. I accepted my thoughts without judgment. I side-stepped the splattered corn.
I suddenly realized, “This is supposed to be happening. My kids aren’t obstacles to me getting dinner prepared. They actually should be having a hard time right now. Their behavior could have been written in my recipe. This whole scenario is FOR ME.”
I decided it was FOR ME to learn which sneaky thoughts take me out of unconditional love and compassion for my kiddos.
It was FOR ME to gain awareness and decide what to do about it.
It was FOR ME to practice new feelings intentionally and build connection with them instead of breaking it down.
And the next interaction I had with them was so different than my previous one.
I apologized for snapping at them. Loved on them, and Teddy decided to help me pick up the corn. Kernel by kernel.
What a sweetheart.
I’m really starting to be grateful for the moments where I lose my cool, because they teach me so much about myself and the work I still have to do.
And because I’m so committed to actually doing this work, those moments happen fewer and fewer.
Fighting reality is always painful. Accepting it, and rolling with it brings so much freedom.
If you’re struggling with your current reality, there is so much you can do to adapt and grow instead of merely cope and survive. I’d be delighted to stand for you and your hopes and dreams – and you’ll experience this once you sign up for your free consult.
You don’t have to struggle alone. You don’t have to keep creating ruptures in your relationship with your kids and struggle to constantly repair them.
And you can learn how to stop resisting your current reality and learn how to work with it, instead of fight against it.
I’m all ears. And I’m delighted to hear your story. Click Here To Schedule